Monday, January 9, 2012

Baby Steps

This weekend, we cheered for Barrett and celebrated as our littlest boy took his first steps. He was so excited and despite his many falls, he kept getting back up to try again and again! It was so precious to watch the look on his face! His pure excitement was contagious!

I loved seeing his determination as he focused his eyes on me and then took off, full-speed ahead, intent on getting to me. These first, little baby steps of Barrett have been such fun to watch these past few days and have also brought to mind this much needed encouragement from Charles Spurgeon...

One false step, (and how easy it is to take that if grace be absent,) and down we go. What a slippery path is that which some of us have to tread! How many times have we to exclaim with the psalmist, "My feet were almost gone; my steps had well nigh slipped." If we were strong, sure-footed mountaineers, this would not matter so much; but in ourselves how weak we are! In the best roads we soon falter, in the smoothest paths we quickly stumble. These feeble knees of ours can scarcely support our tottering weight. A straw may throw us, and a pebble can wound us;

we are mere children tremblingly taking our first steps in the walk of faith, our heavenly Father holds us up by the arms or we should soon be down. 

Oh, if we are kept from falling, how must we bless the patient power which watches over us day by day! Think, how prone we are to sin, how apt to choose danger, how strong our tendency to cast ourselves down, and these reflections will make us sing more sweetly than we have ever done, "Glory be to Him who is able to keep us from falling."

We have many foes who try to push us down. The road is rough and we are weak, but in addition to this, enemies lurk in ambush, who rush out when we least expect them, and labour to trip us up, or hurl us down to the nearest precipice. Only an Almighty arm can preserve us from these unseen foes, who are seeking to destroy us. Such an arm is engaged for our defense.

He is faithful that hath promised, and He is able to keep us from falling, so that with a deep sense of our utter weakness, we may cherish a firm belief in our perfect safety, and say, with joyful confidence,
"Against me earth and hell combine, but on my side is power divine; Jesus is all, and He is mine!"

I have read through these words over and over again, and I am able to identify with Spurgeon at every single point! I am so prone to sin. I am so apt to make the wrong choice. I can be so stubborn and hard-headed, and my tendency is so strong to cast myself down. How quickly I can end up flat on my face just by my own doing! This does not even account for the many foes and the Enemy of my heart who would love nothing more than to shove me down. Oh, how thankful I am for an Almighty arm that is engaged for my defense, especially now, during these days, walking down this road!

Many, many times over the past few weeks, Will and I have been reminded of the spiritual battle that is raging around us, around this adoption, and around this pregnancy. We are opposed, and it has been very obvious! Even as I have been writing this post and trying to put into words what is on my heart, I have felt this opposition so fiercely!

As I honestly reflect on this journey of adoption and pregnancy, I must say that this walk of faith has been challenging. I find myself looking so much like my little boy taking trembling baby steps. I am constantly faltering and stumbling, and this heart of mine so quickly falls into doubt and unbelief. Just as Barrett gets tired of trying to walk and eventually resorts to what is familiar (crawling), I am so quick to fall back into old habits and fleshly patterns. There are SO MANY things right now that are completely out of my hands, and it is a daily struggle for me against both my flesh and the Enemy to not give into fear, worry, and control. If it were not for my heavenly Father holding me by my arms and lifting me back up again and again and again, I would soon be down. 

I am clinging tonight to this promise that He is faithful that has promised, and He is able to keep me from falling. This is my confidence, and this is my hope! No matter how many times I stumble, His arms are outstretched, encouraging me forward and cheering me on.

Now to Him who is able to protect you from stumbling 
and to make you stand in the presence of His glory, 
blameless and with great joy, 
to the only God our Savior, 
through Jesus Christ our Lord, 
be glory, majesty, power, and authority before all time, now and forever. Amen.
Jude 24-25


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