Monday, January 2, 2012

Do You Believe?

I love this question that Oswald Chambers asks in My Utmost for His Highest. I read it this morning and was quite challenged!

 Do you believe in a miracle-working God,
and will you go out in surrender to Him
until you are not surprised an atom at anything He does?

In just a few short hours, it will be Tuesday morning in Bulgaria, and this is the first working day after the New Year's holiday for their government. Over the past few weeks, all of S's documents have been translated, authenticated, photocopied, and tomorrow they will be submitted to the government of her country! Based on my understanding of the process, a judge will review her file and then give verbal approval, followed by written approval, and this is when we will finally get our official travel dates for our first trip to meet S! Obviously, we have been praying that this trip will happen SOON for lots of reasons... 

This is what has been running through my head and has been a source of much worry and anxiety since I found out I was pregnant! I have thought through a hundred different scenarios and have spent way too much time dwelling on all the uncertainties of the next few months. I know that the sooner the first trip happens, the sooner we can go back to Bulgaria and bring S home. Sooner is better for her because she has spent almost 6 years of her little life in that orphanage and needs to get out quickly. Sooner also seems better for us since this newest little baby on the way will also be joining our family sometime SOON, probably in early June. We would LOVE to have S home (and our adoption agency agrees) before I have the baby and while it is still safe for me to travel. The only problem is that I don't know how long it will be safe for me to travel, especially since I'm not even entirely certain when my due date is. My ultrasound due date is two weeks after my original due date, which might not seem like that big of a deal now, but I'm pretty sure it will be a big deal if I have to hop on an airplane sometime in my third trimester! 

Can you tell I like to have things under control and that I absolutely do not like all of the unknowns in my life right now! Whew! It makes my head spin just to think about this crazy timeline and all the things that must happen and must fall into place to bring S home! I hope you are laughing with me now at how absurd it is for me to spend an ounce of energy worrying about any of these things, since they are ALL completely out of my control! :)   

This next step of our adoption process (like the majority of the entire process) is also out of my hands! After S's documents are submitted to the Bulgarian government, we may have to wait up to a few weeks before we will finally get our travel dates. At least, this is what we are told by our attorney... except for the fact that we believe in a miracle-working God!

We believe that God is able to move in the heart of the judge who will be reviewing S's file and to cause that judge to have compassion on S and to grant immediate verbal and written approval! Is it likely? No! Does it ever happen? I don't think so! But we are believing in a God who is able to do anything, beyond what we could even ask, imagine, or hope! I want to be so totally surrendered to the Lord that I will not be surprised one bit by what He does and how He moves on S's behalf! Over the past few days, the Lord has been reminding me that HE is the defender for the helpless, that HE is the advocate for the fatherless, and that HE is the one who rules over all the earth. Kings, rulers, governments, and judges are all in the hands of the Lord. He has the whole world in His hands! I am reminded every single night of that amazing truth when I sing that little chorus to Barrett at bedtime! He's got the whole world in His hands...

The king's heart is like channels of water in the hand of the Lord;
He turns it wherever He wishes.
Proverbs 21:1

Do you not know? Have you not heard?
Has it not been declared to you from the beginning?
Have you not understood from the foundations of the earth?
It is He who sits above the vault of the earth,
and its inhabitants are like grasshoppers,
who stretches out the heavens like a curtain
and spreads them out like a tent to dwell in.
He it is who reduces rulers to nothing,
who makes the judges of the earth meaningless...
Isaiah 40:21-23

We are praying that God will move in the heart of this judge and that he will have compassion on S and grant us favor. We are praying for a miracle and that we will get to take our first trip sooner than anyone could imagine. We ask you to pray with us! We are praying specifically from these verse in Nehemiah...

O Lord, I beseech Thee, may Thine ear be attentive to the prayer of Thy servant and the prayer of Thy servants who delight to revere Thy name, and make Thy servant successful today,
and grant him compassion before this man.
Nehemiah 1:11

Even as we are praying, though, we are trusting the outcome entirely to the Lord and surrendering our desires and what we think is best to what He already knows is the absolute best thing for S, for me, for Will, for each of our boys, for this new baby, and for every person who's life will be affected by this adoption! Yes, I believe we should pray fervently. Charles Spurgeon had a great admonition on prayer this morning for those of you who read his daily devotionals in Morning and Evening. But I also believe that in the midst of our praying in faith, there should be a letting go of our will and surrendering to His!

You do not know what you are going to do;
the only thing you know is that God knows what He is doing.

Continually revise your attitude towards God and see if it is a going out of everything, trusting in God entirely.

It is this attitude that keeps you in perpetual wonder-
you do not know what God is going to do next.

Each morning you wake it is to be a "going out,"
building in confidence in God.

"Take no thought for your life, ... nor yet for your body" -
take no thought for the things for which you did take thought before you "went out."

Have you been asking God what He is going to do?
He will never tell you.
God does not tell you what He is going to do;
He reveals to you Who He is.

Do you believe in a miracle working God, 
and will you go out in surrender to Him
until you are not surprised an atom at anything He does?
Oswald Chambers

To have the perpetual wonder of a child-like heart,
to wake up each morning expecting an adventure...

Lord, I believe. Help my unbelief and build my confidence more and more in You so that I will take no thought for the things that used to occupy so much of my time and energy. I will trust entirely on You!


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