It's funny how sometimes the smallest and simplest things can inspire hope! This morning I received an e-mail with Sophi's official referral documents that included an updated medical report! We were not at all expecting any new information before our first trip, so this was a welcome surprise and blessing! Up until today, all the information we have on her health and her history could be recorded on one single piece of paper. We have a single picture and a two-minute video clip of her, both from several years ago. Even though today's update was very brief, in my heart and mind, it was a treasure. It provided just a tiny bit more of her story, her past, and her heritage, and I am so thankful for these little glimpses of her almost 6 years of life. There were glimmers of hope everywhere I looked this morning as I compared her old medicals to this new one today. Small and simple, but, oh, so hopeful...
- She has gained weight, a few pounds actually! This is great news, and even though I know she is still so small for her age, this is hopeful and such a good sign!
- She can hold her own cup! Back in May, she could drink from a cup, but not hold it on her own! Little glimmers of hope! Way to go, little girl! You are going to learn so much, and you are so very, very smart!
- Here's my favorite tid-bit from today's update. We knew from her original medicals that she learned to walk when she was three and that now she can walk on her own. Today we learned she TRIES to run and can't jump (yet!!!). I love this image because I know exactly what that looks like from watching my little Barrett. His little legs try so hard to go as fast as his big brothers, and he tries to run everywhere he goes! Just last night, the bigger boys were jumping and dancing to some music, and you could see it written all over his face how badly he wanted to be able to do the same. He bent his knees and tried so hard to get his feet off the ground, but just couldn't make them move. I loved seeing his determination and persistence! Sweet Sophi, I know that you are one strong, determined little girl, too! I have no doubt that you are going to run and jump one day very soon! :)
These are just a few of the little glimmers of hope the Lord gave me this morning. The hope came from Him, not the improvements and progress that the doctors noted on her records. He is the One holding her, protecting her, and strengthening her even as I long to be able to physically do the same. He is able to heal every broken, hurt, and shut-down place in her heart, mind, and body, and I know that He is ALREADY at work in her little life! The picture of Sophi that the Lord has given me these past few months is an image of a beautiful butterfly being transformed and coming out of her cocoon. I have thought of this so many times and cannot wait to see the story of her little life as it unfolds under the loving and gentle hands of the great Physician!
Not long ago, the boys and I were sitting around the table having a discussion! We were talking about the new baby, and I asked each of them whether they thought it was a boy or a girl. I was surprised to hear Palmer and Hank immediately say that they thought it was a girl. (They thought Sophi needed a sister, but they wanted to make sure that the boys would still outnumber the girls). Web, who is always the thinker of the bunch, didn't answer right away. He said that he wanted to feel my tummy first. Then, he said he needed to smell my tummy! You've got to love the minds of little people!!! After giving me a good sniff, he announced that it was a girl! So, we will have to wait and see who's right. I'm just glad that I smelled "girly" that day! :)
A Little Honesty...
Now, it's time for a little honesty. In less than three weeks, we will be in Sophi's country, and I am so excited and so ready. I wish we were there already! But I am already missing my four little boys. I can't imagine being away from them for nine days! I know they will be in good hands and that they will have a blast with their MiMi and Pops, but it will be hard to leave them behind! Please pray for them and for us as we pack and prepare to travel!
These are busy, busy days for everyone in our family (not just us). My little sister is getting married the week we get home. That means during the week that my four boys will be staying with my parents, it will be crunch time for last-minute wedding details and plans! You can pray for my family as they prepare for this special day for my sister in the midst of opening up their home and their hearts to my boys!
And because I believe in the power of prayer, I'm going to ask you to pray for me, too! Pregnancy is hard for me! Pregnancy during the middle of international adoption is proving to be even harder! There are times that I struggle to get my mind around the fact that there will be TWO new little lives joining our family in the next few months. It will be kind of like having twins, but not really! :) I'm growing a baby in my womb and another one in my heart! I am unbelievably thankful for these two blessings, and I know that the Lord is stretching me in so many ways and using these days of waiting and anticipation to grow me and to work in my heart! This is a good thing, I know, but not always easy!
During all of my pregnancies, I struggle with an insomnia that is NO FUN! It starts at the very beginning of pregnancy and last until the very end. I cannot sleep at night, and because the days are so full and busy with four little boys, I am constantly feeling tired and lately have felt like I have a very short fuse with the people (especially the little people) that I love most. I'm praying for a little bit of rest and a lot of patience! I'm asking for the Lord's grace and peace to be multiplied in our home during these days! Goodness knows, I sure need grace from Will and the boys right now! :)
So, keep the prayers coming! We've bought our airline tickets and are counting down the days!
...but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.