Monday, October 29, 2012

Counting Mercies: #55 - #57

Wide-Open Spaces, Dump Truck Races, & Commonplaces

God, the one and only-
I'll wait as long as He says.
Everything I need comes from Him, so why not?
He's solid rock under my feet,
breathing room for my soul...
Psalm 62:1

The blog's been quiet lately! I can't seem to find the time (or energy) to finish the 3 posts that are half-written... 

One post is about the mercy of God's provision! It truly is a miraculous mercy and one I want to share about. S's ransom was over $30,000, and slowly and steadily, God provided! We didn't have that kind of money when we started this crazy journey, but somehow EVERY penny of it was paid! 

The second post is about the mercy of prayers! I am so, so grateful for the people who have been praying for our family! I can't even begin to describe the spiritual warfare surrounding S's adoption! Although she has been set free from the prison that once was her home, we are still fiercely fighting for her heart and her mind! To know that so many of you are on your knees on her behalf is an incredible mercy! 

The last unfinished post is about our trip to the International Adoption Clinic at UAB a few weeks ago. We met with a pediatrician who specializes in international adoption and an occupational therapist. She used words like "severe" and "delayed" and "sensory issues" and assessed S to be on the cognitive level of a 12 month old. I've been working on this post off and on for the past few weeks and hope to get it done soon! I'll share my thoughts on our trip to UAB and a little bit about what S has learned over the past 2 months!

Sitting on my window ledge above my sink is this quote! It reminds me to be thankful, NO MATTER WHAT! And lately, I've needed this reminder!

To be grateful for an unanswered prayer,
to give thanks in a state of interior desolation,
to trust in the love of God
in the face of marvels,
cruel circumstances,
and the commonplaces of life
is to whisper a doxology in darkness.
Brennan Manning

This past week has been HARD, definitely one of the more difficult ones we've had! S and I both have bite marks to prove it! I must have said these words a hundred times to S  this week when she got upset!  It goes something like this...

"When S is mad, Mama hold S! When S bites her hand (or when S bites Mama), Mama hold S. Mama loves S! Jesus loves S." 

And as she is raging and fighting to get away, I am holding her tightly and speaking the name of Jesus over her! I'm praying for her heart and her mind! I'm fighting FOR her heart and mind! I'm claiming God's promises for her life! I'm inviting the Lord's joy and peace to come in where there has been such anger, rejection, abandonment, and loneliness! I'm telling her that she's safe and loved and chosen! And even though I know that she doesn't understand all of my words, I'm praying that she knows she has a Mama who is strong enough to hold her broken heart. 

It takes a lot of strength to hold this little girl when she is raging. It's a strength that comes from the Lord! He is the One strong enough to hold and heal my heart, so that I can hold hers! He's the One who has defeated the darkness and the One who is able to do what seems impossible! He is here with us in these hard moments, every moment. Here in these commonplaces of life! He is my strength!

It has been intense! My arms are literally bruised from holding on to her. There is so, so much inside of S that needs to come out, and even though it's not fun, THIS IS A GOOD THING! The Lord is using this precious little life to unearth things in the rest of us that need His healing too! It's been hard and exhausting, and by the end of the day, we are all worn out! But the Lord is at work! I know that without a doubt, and I am grateful!

The boys are getting quite used to this crazy season of life, and even Evie is tolerating the noise that comes with S's episodes! My little blond-headed one reminds me to keep a sense of humor in the midst of this craziness! He tends to get into mischief when all of this is going on! (I dont have a picture of his artwork on my walls or of him sitting on top of Evie, but I did snap a few shots of the fun he had with his breakfast! It's hard to stay upset at a face covered in syrup!)

The runny noses, the piles of diapers by the door, the unending laundry, the boots scattered across the kitchen floor, the lost car keys, the schoolwork and planning that goes along with it, the bickering between boys, the middle-of-the-night feedings, the early mornings, the long days, the late nights, and on and on! Some days these commonplaces of life are just not any fun!

I'm depending on You! You're my God;
have mercy on me.
I count on You from morning to night...
I put myself in Your hands...
Every time I'm in trouble I call on You,
confident that You'll answer.
Psalm 86:11

But as I was looking through the pictures that I took this week, I was reminded how many good moments we had too! So many merciful moments mixed in with all the rest! Surprise blessings, sometimes so simple, that if I'm not careful, I would miss! A sweet smile here, a kind word there. Learning something new. Working together. A helpful visitor. A meal from a friend. Fresh air. Wide-open spaces. Dump truck races. Laughter. There are SO MANY MERCIES if only I will keep my eyes and my heart open and looking to the Giver of each one!

How wonderful, how beautiful,
when brothers and sisters get along.
Psalm 133:1

And that's where we are...hard moments and happy moments, tears and tantrums, and smiles and laughter...learning how to be grateful for EVERY moment! 

So thank God for His marvelous love,
for His miracle mercy to the children He loves...
Psalm 107:4


No comments:

Post a Comment