Friday, October 4, 2013

Random Goodness


It is good to give thanks to the Lord,
and to sing praises to Thy name, O Most High;
to declare Thy lovingkindness in the morning,
and Thy faithfulness by night...
For Thou, O Lord, hast made me glad by what Thou hast done,
I will sing for joy at the works of Thy hands.

Psalm 92:1-2,4




Last week, I celebrated my 34th birthday! The boys made me a beautiful birthday crown out of flowers, just like they did last year, and we had a wonderfully happy and restful day! But the true highlight of my day was seeing this little girl listed on Reece's Rainbow's My Family Found Me page. We have been praying for her since February and were even approved to adopt multiple children with her in mind. When we found out that we were pregnant {and that the Lord's idea of bringing home multiple children was slightly different than ours}, we committed to continue to pray and advocate for this precious little girl. I cried tears of joy when I saw her picture and learned she had been chosen! I am still praising the One who sets the lonely in families!!!


Very early yesterday morning I checked my inbox and was overwhelmed with yet another wonderful surprise! Here's part of the e-mail that I received from a fellow adoptive mom:        

Hi!  I was checking out the Swissclinical Foundation's new website design and in one of the videos I'm pretty sure there is a few seconds of Faith....not 100% positive, but enough so for you to watch and see it yourself.  Bare with it, since it is in French and let me know if you think it is her too.  

It was indeed our little girl, our Faith Ana! Those three seconds of seeing her sweet face and catching a glimpse of those big brown eyes were such a wonderful gift. I cannot even begin to tell you how encouraged I was to see that short video clip and to know that she has been under the care of this talented and respected team of doctors from Switzerland. Here's the link if anyone wants to see the work this foundation is doing in Stara Zagora. If you click on the first video that is listed, you can see Faith about 2 1/2 minutes into the clip.

A little later yesterday morning, I also got a sneak peak at the other newest Blackmon. I am always reminded at these ultrasound appointments what a miracle pregnancy is, and today was no different. As I watched the screen and saw this little one wiggling and squirming around, all I could think about were these words...

For Thou didst form my inward parts; 
Thou didst weave me in my mother's womb.
I will give thanks to Thee, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made...

Psalm 139:13

Can you see the little spine and tiny ribs?

And as I praised the Lord for a good report and a healthy baby, I couldn't help but think about Faith. The same hands that formed this tiny one's perfect spine also formed Faith's injured spine. Yet our human eyes look at her {and all the other little ones like her}, and see something less than perfect. But He's perfectly sovereign and perfectly loving, and I know that His heart for Faith is no different than His heart for this baby. Faith, you too are fearfully and wonderfully made. We celebrate your precious life and the life of your newest brother or sister, and we all are waiting in expectation for the day that we are all home together!!!


"For as My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Neither are your ways My ways," declares the Lord.
"For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
so are My ways higher than your ways,
and My thoughts than your thoughts..."

Isaiah 55:8-9

Yesterday continued to be a day full of crazy blessings! On my way into my doctor's appointment, I saw a number pop up on my caller ID, and I knew it was our adoption agency, but I didn't have time to take the call. After my appointment, I listened to my voicemail. Melanie, I have news. Call me when you get this. I quickly called and finally heard the news we've been waiting for so long to hear. We have our verbal referral!!!! This means we will receive our written referral and our travel dates in the next few weeks and will hopefully travel to meet Faith sometime in November! We are so excited and are very, very thankful for this great news!



And finally last night {after a very long and full day}, 
I stumbled across a blog that I used to regularly follow, but have not checked for quite a while. I highly encourage you to read the full article by Rachel Jankovik, called Gel-Pen Faith, but, in the meantime, I copied the second half of her post here. It was just what my heart needed, and I hope it blesses you too!

When we believe something, we can sign our cute little names on the dotted line. Children are a blessing? Check! You should be full of joy? Check! You should honor your husband and love your children? Check! Enjoy all the days of your life? Check! Watch me go with my cute little gel pen in my journal!

So then God gives us those children. And now we believe something that He has told us, but we are not dancing around ready to sign our names on it anymore. Why not? Well because we feel like fussing about the laundry. Because it is messing us up to believe this, because now our faith about this is not abstract. So we feel broken. Like the things that we believe aren’t coordinating with our emotions anymore. Like we can’t find ourselves. Like the old us with the journal and the gel pen had a much better grasp of motherhood than this weird lady we have suddenly become.  Why so much brokenness? Doesn’t God love us?

God has brought me through this time and again. It is like He holds up my little statement of faith from my youth and says, “cute.” But He doesn’t want me to sign my name on it.  He wants me to put myself on the altar. Enough with this chit chat. God wants to see action. Take that belief, and live it. Not when you have all the emotional strength to do that, but when you don’t.

Do it when it must be all His strength. Do it because you believe, not because you feel. Do it in faith...

This is a pattern. I felt capable of being a mother, back before I was. God gave me more to handle than I could possibly handle on my own strength. I felt capable of keeping house. I’m sorry. I don’t know if I can stop laughing about that. Anything that I felt capable of doing,  God will both make it seem impossible and simultaneously ask me to do it. And there I am – in the sweetest place you can ever be – relying on Him. Walking in faith. Living in joy.

This broken feeling is only broken if it stays there. If it stops in self-pity. If it wallows in grief about the lost emotions of our journaling days. But this is richer. When we seek His joy instead of our own, when we lay our best on His altar, and we have nothing left for ourselves, that is when we are truly accomplishing His purpose in our lives.

We are not broken. We are being healed. We are not alone. We are in His hands. We are not overwhelmed. We have a champion. We are not stupid. We are being made wise. We are not weak. For He is not weak. We are not hopeless.  For we are His.









Hope you have a happy weekend! 

XOXO,
Melanie

2 comments:

  1. So, guess what??? The sweet little Bulgarian Princess you have been praying for???? We are the family!!! I am so moved by all the people that have prayed and advocated for our little Leanna. Please visit our blog newteammember.blogspot.com so that you can stay updated!!!! Blessings!!

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  2. Travel dates!?!? That IS exciting!! November. Right around the corner...we are hoping for January. I would love to find out (especially since this is your second time) what you brought/will bring to your girls on the first trip, as well as tips on coping with the "see you later" at the end. So excited to read this update Melanie! :)

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